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It looks like a homeless person is living out of it."Yeah, well," Cera says.

"I drove here from Toronto and haven't unpacked yet."When did that trip take place, exactly? "Uh, like, uh, nine or 10 months ago."The most important thing to know about Cera is that out of all the classic Hollywood movie-star options open to a guy like him last night, he chose none.

He had a good family, good friends, and nothing bad ever happened.

Looking back at those days, Cera says, "I had a really fun childhood, and I've had a pretty trauma-free life, which scares me sometimes.

He's a pretty smart kid.""I'm not a big drinker," says Cera, "and I don't know what people do when they go to bars. But I'm just not comfortable in that scene, which is fine."Today, he has parked his crummy Toyo­ta out back at one of his favorite L. lunch joints and tucked himself into an outside table, where he takes his coffee with a lit­tle sugar, orders lentil soup and spinach salad, and asks that he not be judged for his recent trouncing on the tennis court: "I can do a lot better than that." He admits that sometimes he will have a glass of wine with lunch but that "I always feel weird about it." Exceedingly amiable and amusing, he starts talking about how his life changed after It was 2007, he was 19, and all of a sudden, he was a star.

People were asking for his autograph and staring at him while he ate. " even though, of course, he didn't play Mc Lovin. This very small, very round, very excited woman approached him. "Are you the guy from "Uh, yeah." "You look just like my fiance. " She threw her arms around him and said, "Can I suck your dick? "And the cigarette smoke was just falling out of her mouth. And then I saw her pull her shirt down for some other guy.

This led to the only scandalous gossip as­sociated with Cera, when it was reported that he ditched Yi because he was "itching to date other people" now that he was "superfamous," which seems unlikely, or, if true, suggests a darkness to Cera that has been unglimpsed, which would be fine.

"But the one I dated when I was 11, we dated for, like, two months. It's funny, though, the way conversations go with him. I mean, if I was there now, I'd do it."How does he know he would do it now?

He's never been a cigarette smoker or a pot smoker, both of which would be contraindicated anyway by a heart condition of his called Wolff-Parkinson-White, which can cause shortness of breath. He was 18 when he started to shave but can't grow a beard ("What I can grow is wispy and disgusting").

In fact, the only thing he's ever been addicted to is cracking his knuckles ("There's something calming about it. He doesn't have any favorite cuss words and says, "Actually, I'm not too amused by cuss words." He's never cheated on a girl (though he has been cheated on, back in high school); never picked up a girl; never participated in a three-way; says that in an ideal world he'd have sex "eight times a fortnight"; can't really call one orgasm his most memorable because "I've blocked most of them out"; and claims that what he looks for in a girl is "skin, really nice skin." He owns lots of corduroys but only one pair of jeans.

* Now look at Michael Cera's car, parked in the Silver Lake district of L. Again, he's playing quirky and sincere, but this time around he broadens his trademarks to in­clude selfishness, solipsism, snideness and a good many action moves.

The movie is perfect summertime fare, and Cera's flaw­less performance should catapult him right into the world of Ferraris and Bentleys.




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